Tuesday, February 15, 2011


No ice cream today? Yup! I stuck with yogurt and crackers with cheese (35)... sounds like a lot :( but... I think I know why? (middle of this "section")
Exercise last night? Nope. I studied for 4 hours, though. It was too late to do my work out without my mom interrupting me since it involves a lot of jumping around. Very noisy.
I think Mother Nature is paying me a visit soon... haven't seen her since... August. That explains the bloating, crappy eating, sleepless nights, fatique, and weight gain!

And, apparently, some people think I'm gay. Sorry if you're gay and take this offensively... I didn't mean to. But it's kind of big deal to me because I go to a Catholic school and... let's just say that kids in my grade make mean jokes about people being gay. I, though I am straight and it's not part of my religion to believe in that, believe that everyone deserves love and if a man loves a man or a woman loves a woman its not their fault. They're not an animal or a germ or a disease. They are a person. 
Just to give you an idea, people have said these things to me:
"Your hair's straight... we're not so sure about you"
"You liked that!" (when one of my friends fell on me and I was laughing [and I'd like to point out that everyone around us was laughing as well])
That's not everything but I don't want to get boring going into stupid detail... unless I already did. 
Lots of mean jokes... with straight faces... it bothers me. Mostly because I have had a humongous "crush" on this one guy for 4 years. I guess people got the signal that I liked him 2 years ago but now he never talks to me and... I have to look at him from afar. 
No one thinks I "like" him anymore I guess. I told one person... she asked if I did, I smiled... couldn't hide it. 
She stayed quiet when someone made a gay joke to me. I guess I'd rather her do that than say "Hey, she's straight! She likes _____!".
And I can't help asking myself if this girl I knew who was a total be-yatch had something to do with it. Especially because the people who make fun of me were her friends and... now they're my friends. 
Yeah, you're probably thinking "If they make fun of you, they're not your friends". You have to admit, friends make fun of each other. Mine don't do it on a regular basis but, next time, I'll say something.
Maybe "Why would you think that?"
And I make up responses... I don't feel like boring you, though.

Very confusing to me. 
The last time someone said something about me being gay was exactly two weeks ago... I wrote it in a journal on a different site. 

Love and thanks for listening to my problems, 

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