I Need a Therapist

Hello!

I didn't eat any Girl Scout Cookies yesterday and I only had two today so I'm getting better :)
My friends are in a little tiff. Apparently, one set one off about two others and now the two others and the one (that got set off) are not speaking and are very angry at each other. I'm choosing not to get into it. And apparently, 2 of my friends went with the two to the mall and one of my other friends is going to the movies with some of her "besties" tonight... pisses me off.
I try. I'm not clingy but I try. I actually cried to my mom in the parking lot of a store about how I'm alone every fucking weekend (yes, I cursed in front of my mom) and how this mean-ass bitch ruined my reputation and now people don't talk to me as much.

Alright,
stay strong,
Abbey

All Girl Scouts... Go to Hell

I hate hate hate hate Girl Scout cookie season. I simply cannot control myself. A year or two ago, I would've eaten an entire sleeve and then some. I ate... 4 Peanut Butter patties(280) (ugh... mom should not have bought those. Any combination of peanut butter and chocolate is my weakness), 3 Thin Mints (160 for 4... that equals 120), and 3 lemon oreo type cookies (that was a serving... 170)
= 570
... DAMNIT!!!!

When and if I become president, I am banning the selling of Girl Scout cookies, all food that is processed and/or not natural in any way, and... a lot of things, okay?

Alright, I'll have a panic attack if I don't calculate all this together...
Breakfast: 1/2 cup egg beaters (60), Whole-Wheat English Muffin (120), ketchup (30), pear (100)= 310
Lunch: yogurt (140), apple (40), v8 (70)= 250
Disaster: 570
Dinner: unknown
Total (as of now): 1130
shit
Definitely working out tonight... if I ever get all the homework I have done.
I was going to make a lovely dinner... I'll probably have some berries (80) and zucchini (???- but its safe).

Hope you're doing better than me,
Abbey









ps. The gap between my thighs is getting bigger :). I just have about an inch of fat on my upper thighs left... this makes me smile. Now only if my stomach would follow suit....
pps. My friends suck sometimes. I am alone on the weekends while they go shopping or to the movies or to hang out... I don't even get texts or anything :( (sorry for raining on your happy parade if you had one)

9:07pm

Sometimes I like how I look and other times I want to smash the mirror and use the broken glass to cut everything off.

Lent and Fat Tuesday (oh s**t)

I read Emma's post (thanks for following, by the way :3) about Lent and giving things up for Jesus, who sacrificed himself on the cross. Lent is supposed to show God how much we love him by sacrificing something or "fasting".
I'm Catholic and I've been celebrating the Lenten holiday since I knew how to... probably since 2nd grade.
This year, I am giving up quite a few things. Maybe 3... those are the more personal ones which I don't really want to share on the internet. But I guess the 4th one would be no junk food.
I think our teachers taught us to give up one thing and replace it with another. So, more exercise, less junk food. Oh and I kinda need to pray more....
What are you doing for Lent? And if you don't celebrate/ don't believe (I respect that) in this holiday, what do you want to do to make yourself a better person?

Okay so... M looked at me and in a sort of happy smile-y way... which made me happy. One of my friends was being kinda bitchy... I didn't do anything so I don't see why she had to act that way. But I don't really care.

I didn't pig out but... DAMN YOU, GIRL SCOUTS!!  Mom brought home a box of  Peanut Butter whatevers and I had 3... damnit.



ps. Mardi Gras (aka Fat Tuesday) is tomorrow. Great... sarcasm. They'll probably give us that sugary King cake... yummy... I was kidding.

I'm in Love

M has my heart tied in a knot... I want to kiss him and hold his hand and have his arms wrapped around me.
Nevershoutnever's songs will do that. And I can't say I don't love it.

I haven't eaten much today. Just not hungry. I had 3 whole-wheat pancakes, 2 with a few chocolate chips in them, and a glass of fruit v8.

I chatted with a boy on an anonymous chat site about relationships. He like a girl, I like M, and we gave each other advice. And then he had to go be a jerk and disconnect.

Whatever. I was going to post last night but you could only see the thinspo and not the text.

love,
Abbey

Couples thinspo 

Sorry if I killed you or made you puke with my mushiness.

Alright

Hello.
Alright today. Made the mistake of thinking a 7 chip portion was actually 14 chips= double the calories than it would've been if I bothered to look at the serving size. ... That means I ate about 3 servings... great.
Breakfast was oatmeal w/ unsweetened almond milk and mixed berries
Lunch was yogurt, an orange, V8, and pistasios
3 o'clock snack was... bad. 2 sugar-free pudding cups, the chip mistake, salsa, fat-free Cool Whip (1/3 of a serving... I think), and a few chocolate chips
Dinner was pistasios, Pepsi Max (0), and some fruit

Oh well... I had a volleyball game today.
I did Level One of 30 Day Shred yesterday... went good :). It went faster than I expected.
I will be fit and close-to-bikini ready by April :)

10:29pm

The water cooler is empty... it's kinda making me angry. We have one of those Brita filter thingos but I'm too lazy to fill it and too impatient to wait for it to filter.

Dad, Little Brother, and I went shopping for food and stuff yesterday. The place we went is kinda like Costco but we don't have a Costco here and I've seen it on tv so... yeah. Anyway, we bought soo much stuff. Two carts full.
And Two things about this place: they have good stuff (supplements, protein powder/bars, detox whatevers, frozen fruit, regular fruit, veggies, lemon juice, etc) and everything else is processed crap. We bought a little of both. Who thinks I'm going to eat processed crap? Put your hand down!! haha just kidding... that wasn't really funny, was it? Oh well....

Today was a good day. Stayed close to my caloric goal. I could've worked out and I wanted to but... I didn't. Took a shower though... as if that counts for anything, really. 


Mom and I got in an argument over eating healthy and the way my parents feed my brother. Mom got super pissed... like you wouldn't believe really. She thought I was criticising her and my dad for how they treat Brother and how he's gonna end up depressed because I call him fat... which I don't... at least not to his face. I wanted to say "If you watched this season of the Biggest Loser, you'd know that the groups that are parent and son/daughter, the parents blame themselves for the size of their kid".

Alright, that's it.
xoxo,
Abbey




























ps. I'm definitely doing my workout twice tomorrow... I need my metabolism too speed up NOW.